Stuck in the Middle

I can’t win. It’s not enough that I have to deal with night blindness (nyctalopia). I also have light sensitivity (photophobia). I either have to adjust to darkness or adjust to the light. I could step outside in bright daylight and experience a temporary whiteout. It hurts a little when the light pierces my eyes. After a while, I learned to put on sunglasses before I went outside. Like adjusting a moment or two to the darkness, it takes me a moment or two to adjust to the brightness. There are special sunglasses (Corning, NoIR) that people like me can buy. I do not wear prescription glasses. I can read the newspaper without glasses. Most, if not all, of these sunglasses are the kind that can be worn over regular glasses or have a special tint that is put on presecription glasses. I have yet to find a pair of good anti-glare glasses that can be worn like regular sunglasses. In the meantime, I found a pair of amber glasses, which ironically, is made for nighttime driving. It is anti-glare. It works just great.

Glare affects me, too. When it’s wet from a recent rain, the roads and sidewalks are “darker” and if headlights or an outdoor light is reflecting on them (the road or sidewalk), it’s harder to see.

I love to walk. I have to walk under shady trees during my walk. It’s a constant dark to light, light to dark adjustment. The moment I get under a tree, I need to take my sunglasses off so I can see again and then when I get out of the shade, I have to put them back on again. Most of the time, I just kind of lift the glasses up when I walk under a tree or a shadow until I get back into the light.

Even some indoor lighting can affect me. It just depends on the kind of fluorescent lighting that is used.

I like cloudy days best. It’s not to bright and not too dark. It seems like it’s the story of my life again. Always in-between…I feel like I don’t belong in either the deaf or hearing world, just in-between. (I can say that I am more hearing cultured, though.) Now I prefer an in-between world; one that is not too dark or bright. I guess I will always be a little bit in the “gray” area.