Saturday, August 23, 2008

Pre-Activation Jitters

In the back of my mind where I keep a drawer full of anxieties and “what if”s,” I try to stuff some of my fears back into it.
I don’t know what to expect for the re-birth of my ear. Many questions flit through my mind.

Will I hear beeps?
Will it be aggravating?
Will voices sound “heliumized”? Will I feel like I am walking around in Toon Town? Hi, Daffy. Hi, Alvin. Hi, Minnie Mouse.

Will it be intolerable?

Will it work?

How long will it take to adjust to sounds and recognize them?

Am I going to be able to wear my hearing aid (HA) in my other ear or will the audie recommend that I don’t?

Which is best? With the HA in the other ear or without?

Every audie is different, too. Some audies think if you don’t wear the HA or even the first CI in the other ear, the new implantee will force the brain to learn to hear in the reborn ear. Some think that it would blend together somehow.
Only time will answer my questions.

Every CIer who gets turned on, hooked up, booted, or activated has a different or similar experience.

Monday is coming up fast. August 25 at 9:00 a.m. is the day of the Rebirth of my left ear.

I am so-so about it right now. I just won’t dwell on it so much and get myself worked up about the what if's. I have moments of panic, dread, nervousness, and, yes, cautious excitement. I say CAUTIOUS because I want to keep my expectations low. My ear has been deaf for 10-15 years. I can’t expect the brain to adjust to the sounds overnight. It will take time.



At Sat Aug 23, 07:54:00 AM , Blogger Laurie said...


Just relax and let your brain do the work. Do not leave the office if you cannot keep the processor on your ear/head. You should do just fine!

Can't wait for your "after activation " post!

Hugs! Laurie

At Sat Aug 23, 07:57:00 AM , Blogger Beth said...

Will be thinking of you on the 25th - am thinking of you now with your questions and "what ifs."
I like that image of keeping all fears, anxieties and worries in a drawer - stuffing them all in and opening it only when you really have to.

At Sat Aug 23, 11:00:00 AM , OpenID suddensilence said...

Shari, just a couple more days and all your questions will be answered! :-)

I'm curious to read if you can describe what it sounds like. I was literally speechless at first, completely at a loss to describe how it sounded.

I love reading activation stories because we are all so different and all experience different things. It's always interesting to see how our ears and brains react! :)

Sending lots of good thoughts your way,


At Sat Aug 23, 05:12:00 PM , Blogger Becky said...

What a momentous occasion! The rebirth of your ear. It's amazing, really, that such things exist that can help a person to hear when once they could not.

Hang in there, bionic woman! It's about to happen for you!

At Sat Aug 23, 11:23:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Same here, I had a pillow case. My emotions and jitters would pop out. I had to shove them back in.!!!!!

It is wonderful to have so many on your email and blog list with the same experience. I know you will be a good motivator and help your ear to relearn sounds. Oh yes I will be thinking and praying for you all day Monday.
A million HUGS, Molly CC

At Sun Aug 24, 05:13:00 PM , Blogger Jennifer Bruno Conde said...


Everyone's positive thoughts, prayers and hopefulness for a successful activation and CI experience are with you!

Like Wendi said, everyone's activation is so different and we can't wait to read how your went.

Thinking about you tomorrow at 9:00 AM!

Jennifer :-D

At Mon Aug 25, 01:13:00 PM , Blogger Breazy said...

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way!

At Mon Aug 25, 03:47:00 PM , Anonymous Kila said...

Big day today for your family! Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. I hope the girls had a great first day of school, and your activation is going well. :)

At Mon Aug 25, 08:07:00 PM , Blogger Shari/"Whiger" said...

Thanks, everyone. I am glad that I didn't have high expectations. Thanks again for all your support and thoughts. :) HUGS.

At Wed Aug 27, 05:32:00 PM , Blogger Abbie said...

I wanted to let you know that you were in my thoughts that day! Now I must read your next post :)


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