Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Growing Pains: Letting Go

My kids are growing.

Though I know that Angel is too "old" to sit on my lap, there's a part of me that likes it when she does. Do I baby her? I don't know. Any mother, I think, has the hardest time letting go of her "baby".

When Flare went through all the milestones-first steps, first day of kindergarten, etc, it didn't hit me as hard as it does with Angel. She's my baby. She's the last one. I won't get to experience these moments again.

When Flare was in kindergarten, I was pregnant with Angel. I couldn't pick her up anymore. She couldn't sit on my lap anymore. Then, as the new baby, Angel was constantly in my arms and lap.

Angel doesn't have a younger sibling to compete with my lap. Flare is obviously a big girl now.

Flare would constantly remind me that she couldn't sit on my lap since she was five. Why does Angel get to sit on my lap at seven? She has a good point. Hubby even says that she's getting too old to sit on my lap.

I just have a hard time letting go!! She's my baby. :.(



At Wed Oct 03, 03:42:00 PM , Blogger Laura said...

If you can handle it, let those babies sit in your lap! My son, at 9, still sits in my lap, and he used to cuddle in the chair with my husband (one of the reasons why my husband got such a monstrosity of a chair a few months ago). Don't say that I said so or he will kill me. I am so glad I still let him cuddle; it would be so much more worse if I had not let him do that. He still lets me tuck him in (and looks forward our tuck in routine...we call it tuckling). My husband used to make comments about him being too old for that, and then began to realize that they are young, and they allow it for such a short time that we should drink it all up. No regrets.

At Wed Oct 03, 06:13:00 PM , Blogger Shari said...

There's something about that "last" child...

Thanks for making me feel like I am not babying her too much or anything. She's tall, but really thin. Sigh.

At Wed Oct 03, 09:37:00 PM , Blogger lime said...

i say as long as they want it, let them cuddle. invite jennee when she asks why kourtni gets to.

there is something about those babies though.

At Wed Oct 03, 10:37:00 PM , Blogger Amrita said...

My sis still has to let go of her 22 yr. old son...emotionally i mean. But its a beautiful relationship, which I never had with my folks.They belonged to the old school, not their fault.they were very educators and providers but no emotional support, or physical closeness.

Keep as close to you kids as possible.

At Thu Oct 04, 12:19:00 AM , Blogger Karma said...

It is very normal to be feeling what you're feeling, but maybe the sadness is also about what this transition means for you.....

At Thu Oct 04, 07:06:00 AM , Blogger Shari said...

Lime-Jennee is about two to three inches shorter than me. That's it. She's really too big for my lap. :) Kourtni is smaller boned and still fits comfortably on my lap. She'll sit on Grampa's lap, too.

Amrita-My dad was somewhat like that-old school. Hubby has some of my dad's characteristics-the displinarian and provider.

Karma-I'm getting older. I want to hang on to my baby. She can't help it that she's growing.

At Thu Oct 04, 09:39:00 PM , Blogger G said...

I think the rule is - as long as they fit, they can sit. I might have just made that up, but I'll stand by it.

Watching our babies grow is bittersweet indeed. I so felt this post particularly as I was just sorting through some old photos.

At Thu Oct 04, 10:25:00 PM , Blogger Shari said...

Thanks, G. It's a comfort to know. She does still "fit". :)

At Sat Oct 06, 10:08:00 AM , Blogger David Edward said...

never ever get to old to enjoy lap sitting! never make a rule like that based on an age, for the child inside us is always needing comfort, security, and care.
Laps are the very best place for kids, and all too rare since people do not sit still for long.

Michele sent me, and I am so thankful for the visit here.

At Sat Oct 06, 05:04:00 PM , Blogger carmilevy said...

Now that our youngest is seven years-old, I find myself feeling very nostalgic every time he passes a major milestone - especially one involving me picking him up or carrying him.

For now, I can still carry him to bed. But it's getting harder every night. I'll be a very sad camper when he's too big.

Parenting...temporary, yet permanent.


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