Legally Deaf

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When I was growing up, I used to always say that I am hard-of-hearing (HOH) or just said I didn’t hear that well or had a hearing problem. I didn’t think of myself as “deaf.” I had classmates who were deaf and I knew I could hear better than they could. To me, “deaf” meant not being able to hear a thing. Nada, zip, zilch.

I had a really good friend who was Deaf (capital D-means part of the Deaf Culture). She did ASL and the whole bit. She spoke pretty well, I thought. She did have some hearing and called herself HOH, too, but couldn't talk on the phone that well. We lost touch when she got divorced and moved. We even worked together for a few years until her divorce.

Lately, though not consistently, I just cut to the chase and say, “I’m deaf.” I can’t really hear anything in my implanted ear. And before it was implanted, I didn’t get any use out of it. I heard very few loud sounds if they were low enough, but if you talked into my pre-implanted ear, with or without my hearing aid (HA) in it, I would not hear you.

By the same token, I know that I will still be deaf in my implanted ear when I take the CI off.

With the HA in my better ear, I can hear, but I do not have good hearing with it. I am “deaf” without my HA. I wouldn’t hear you talk into my ear, but with my HA on, I would hear you and maybe get a few words, but I won’t get everything. I even amaze myself if I can get through a conversation without getting a repeat more than three times.

So, out of habit, I seem to go back and forth with “I am deaf” to “I am HOH” or “severely HOH.” I feel like I am lying if I say, “I’m deaf” even though without my HA on in my better ear, I can’t hear.anything but loud noises. It's hard to label myself as "deaf" at times.


I am going to confuse myself once my brain gets trained to hear with the CI. Am I deaf or HOH?

When I talk about my vision loss, I tell people I am legally blind or that I don't see that well or even "I have tunnel vision."

I have less than 20 degrees vision. There's a term for it: Legally blind. Seems simple enough.


So, is there a definition for “legally deaf”? It would be so much easier to explain that instead of trying to explain “severely HOH" in one ear and deaf in the other.

CI Users Among the Deaf

I wanted to share this video clip with you. It is CC (closed captioned) for those of you who don't know ASL. This is about CI implantees who are still Deaf (as in capital D-culturally Deaf). The CI didn't take them away from the Deaf culture.

More Thoughts

I wanted to add a few more things from the last post.

They do offer support for families, too. I am pretty much the only one in the family who knows signs. (My sister, who has US Type II, is taking an ASL class right now. She wants to communicate better with me. That's really sweet of her, but I hope she knows how beneficial it will be for her, too.)

If tactile signing was an option, they would have to learn it, too. We are so oral, it wouldn't be second nature to sign. That's what makes it so hard to get into that. It's easier to put off things. I realize the importance of preparing myself, and there are many like me who wait for whatever reason. Also, most US Type IIs were mainstreamed right away. So they didn't learn signs, either. If it (the vision) had been a part of my life as I was growing up, things may have been different. Maybe I would have been more involved with Deaf culture, thus eliminating the sign language issue. It's so much easier for everyone to just repeat what they say (even if they do get frustrated) than it is to learn signs.

My oldest daughter does know the manual alphabet and very few signs, but she does help me "fill in the blanks" when I simply don't understand something.

The Milwaukee thing, I believe, is only supposed to be one week deal for mobility training. I haven't contacted my voc rehab about it lately, but it has been weighing on my mind for the past year. I have no idea when it's going to happen. I hope that the center can be flexible and maybe just come to me instead of me having to go there. Some people can get mobility training a few hours a week for a span of several months instead of a crash marathon in one week.

I am thinking of the future. I would not want to become illiterate. I love reading. If my eyes do get to the point that it's really bad, I would want to read Braille. It might slow me down a lot until I can be fluent, but that's better than nothing. The technology that's out there is sooooo expensive. CCTVs. Braille displays that connect to the computer, etc. I would like to continue blogging and reading other blogs. Some Braille displays make it hard to access the Internet.

I could take Braille courses via correspondence and email. And at my own pace. I do have options. I know I really don't want to pack up and leave for months. If I have to learn a little here and there, fine.

As far as "coming out", I have always had an issue with people staring at me. When I was in high school, I didn't play sports. All I could think about was all those people sitting in the bleachers, watching. I would get so nervous just thinking about that I would do something stupid. Stage fright? Maybe. (That tells you a lot about my self-esteem. Some of it has to do with being the "baby" of the family, being picked on as it is usually done in large families. I didn't know how to speak up for myself or defend myself. I always felt like I was being judged and criticized and it carried into other aspects of my life.)

I would not like people staring at me when I have to tap "Moses" ("Red Sea" effect that is created when people move out of the way when they see the white cane). But one Usher person pointed out that people would be staring at you anyway if you walk into a display in the grocery store aisle and say, "I'm sorry" or "Excuse me" when no one's there.

Thousand Hand Guan Yin

Hey, I thought this was pretty cool. These dancers are deaf.