Friday, September 29, 2006

Footprints in the Sand

When I was growing up (pre-RP, before I even knew about RP) I used to look at blind people and think that I was happy to be hard-of-hearing. If given a choice, I would choose deafness over blindness. I am used to it. Now that I have to deal with both, it’s devastating. Am I being punished? I have to look at it this way, what purpose do I have? Why did God choose me to have Usher Syndrome? God does not make mistakes. He has a plan for everything.

But I will tell you one thing, it’s made me who I am today. If I were hearing-sighted, what kind of person would I have turned out to be? Would I be hard-hearted? Stuck-up? Serving time in prison? I am very sensitive to other people’s pain. I have to focus on the positives though it can be hard. Some days I am tempted to snap at people. God knows what your limits are. He does not give you more than what you can handle.

I also like to think of it this way, too, that it’s God’s way of keeping me close to Him, to depend on Him. Of course, there are times when I have a pity party. I have no choice but to move on. Just adjusting, living day-to-day, step-by-step. I am not alone. He is always with me. I have to remember to hand the reins over to Him and trust Him.


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