Sunday, April 26, 2009

It's All in the Wrist

You hear that all the time.

How do you do that? Whether it’s bowling, shooting darts, playing certain sports, it’s what they say. It sounds a bit cliché. But true.

I just had my first O&M session. For those of you who don’t know what that means, it stands for orientation and mobility. You need to know how to use a white cane effectively and accurately. It isn’t as easy as it looks.

No matter how much I prepared myself by getting information from other seasoned caners, but emotionally, I needed to grow, too. The cane would symbolize me as a person who is visually impaired. I’ve hidden it from strangers and it takes me awhile to tell others. Conversely, I don’t have that issue with my hearing loss; I’ve lived with it all my life. It’s no big deal. I'm used to it. Growing up with hearing loss makes you more resilient. Hey, I’m deaf. Speak slower. Don’t exaggerate your lips, please. Please talk normally, just a bit slower. And so on.

People understand immediately upon my openness about my hearing loss, that there’s a reason for my confusion or misunderstanding. I am not being dense. I didn’t hear you. I have to use that principle with my vision loss, too I have to learn to be open about it so that my actions can be explained. I might be bumping into things, walking really slow once I enter or leave a building. (This is because my eyes take some time to adjust to light, whether it’s sunlight or florescent lighting and by the same token, my eyes take time to adjust to dimness, too.) People may see that and jump to conclusions. (I know that I may have been making the same assumptions if I didn't know about low vision, too.) “She’s drunk”, “she’s on drugs”, “she should pay attention to where she’s going”, etc. Or even on occasion, I might even seem rude or snobbish not seeing someone wave their hand at me (just as I would if I didn’t hear someone call my name if they didn’t know I was deaf). All that can be explained. Hey, I am deaf. Hey, I have tunnel vision. Just because I have low vision, doesn’t mean I’m seeing what you can see. It’s limited. I am a great scanner. I do a lot of scanning to make up for my “blind spots”. That doesn’t always work. I may forget something’s in my path, even though I saw it when it was farther away. Once I get closer to something, it fades out of my line of vision and bam, I banged into it.

I know I will have emotional issues with the cane. I’m telling the world at large, "Hey, I’m legally blind. I don’t see well. I’m using this cane for my own safety and mobility." Most people may see the cane and know what it means, that the cane user is blind. What they may not know is that there are cane users who still have useable vision. They are not always totally blind. So, if you see anyone with a white cane, don’t assume they are totally blind and don’t assume they are “faking” it. It is illegal to use a cane if you aren’t legally blind/blind.

Several cane users I have talked to say that they were at a store, browsing through a magazine. There is the cane. Some people’s reactions are like, she’s reading? She has a cane. She’s faking it. She’s not blind.

I guess I will be up to me to educate those kinds of people. Yes, I am using a cane. I’m not totally blind. I guess I just have to get used to it, like I do with my hearing loss and my hearing needs.

I still have some emotional hurdles to get through. For the most part, my vision loss is my skeleton in the closet. Now that I’m accepting the fact that I should use a cane, I will still have to deal with it psychologically. Easier said than done. I haven’t broken down into tears….yet. I’m sure I’ll have those moments, but I know I am not alone.

I may start off slow. You know, baby steps. I may carry it around. In my purse or something like that, hidden. I might just use it at night or around family.

Yesterday I had my first O&M session.

The instructor met me at my house. We discussed what I could see (contrast, color, lighting, acuity, etc).

After that “getting-to-know you” part was done, we headed out to the mall. There he demonstrated what a sighted guide should do and what I should do.

I had to grasp his elbow kind of like I was holding a glass of milk, with my thumb on the lateral (outer) part of his elbow. I remained one step behind him. When we reached a doorway, I had to stay by the hinge of the door. When the sighted guide opened the door, I had to grab the door and have it close behind me. There were certain moves used to turn around. I would have to pivot like in basketball, but pivot halfway around while the guide would walk around me, then I was to grab the opposite elbow. Then there was the “about face” (I think that’s what it’s called) move, where if we were in a crowded area like an elevator (where you really can’t just walk around a person). Both the guide and the guidee (is that a word?) would just turn, face each other, and then turn again on the other side while the guidee would grab onto the other elbow. The other move was the “side-step” or “step-and-slide” or something like that. This involved the guide stepping to the other side while sliding the hand across the back of the guide.

Once the guiding thing was accomplished, I was introduced to the cane.
It was a folding cane. It had four sections (some have five). I was shown how to open it and close it.
Then I had to learn to "walk the walk".

It’s not as easy as it looks. You need to have rhythm and be in step. Talk about multi-tasking!! I was never coordinated. I had to remember to tap the cane about the width of my shoulders in front of me, back and forth, with each step the opposite side of the “tap”. (This is so that I know that before I take my next step, nothing's in my way.) I’ve made mistakes. I wasn’t in step or I lost my rhythm. It’s going to take a lot of getting used to. It's a skill.

But let’s back up a bit. There was a certain way to hold the cane, too. I had to have my “grip” in a handshake position with my index finger pointing down on the flat part of the “gripper” area (forgot what that was called). I had to have the bony part of my wrist bone (the median side by the thumb) facing out and hold the cane by my navel, against/close to my stomach. I wasn’t supposed to move my arm or hands. Corny as that may sound, it’s all in the wrist. Just flip it back and forth, back and forth.

Pretty cool, eh? That was just day one. I’m sure the next session will be a review of the guide/guidee thing and practice caning so I can be “in sync” with the cane. Practice, practice, practice….

I am busy trying to think of a cool name for my cane when I get one. Some caners named theirs “Moses” because it parted the “Red Sea” or in this case, parted the path in front of them When people see the caner, boom, everyone moves out of the way, like magic!! One caner named hers “Prince Charming” or “Charming” because it works like a charm. Hmm. Any ideas???

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Friday, April 03, 2009

Time Sure Flies!!

Sorry I've been gone so long! I didn't think it has been almost two months??? Whoa.


I cannot believe it’s been over a month since I last made a blog post. I guess it happens.

Angel just celebrated her 9th birthday. She got an alarm clock that she’s always wanted (as an added bonus for this mom, it’s child-friendly to boot). She also got a summery dress, too. She’s just growing too fast. Sigh. Where did my baby go??

On the CI (cochlear implant) front, I had my 6-month mapping and in some areas I am stable and in others there is a marked improvement. I don’t see too much difference myself hearing-wise since the 3-month mapping, though.

I had a CI moment!!! A couple of weeks ago, I took the dogs outside on a bright, sunny morning. I heard birds, most likely robins, chirping their morning songs (or should I say,…dramatic pause…their morning gossip??) I’ve heard the birds chirp before with my hearing aids (HAs), but they all sounded the same to me, except for maybe the doves. If I wanted to, I’m sure I could distinguish each bird’s sound if I learned which one belonged to which bird. I never realized that the blue jays had such a low chirping sound. I’m sure I’ll be able to learn to recognize that. :Cool, huh??

I still have “deaf moments”. After all, the CI doesn’t make me a hearing person. I’m still deaf and coupled with the RP, I don’t have the sharp visual cues most d/Deaf people use and in a way, it makes me “deafer”. I don’t know how I can explain that. If I had normal vision, I’d catch more hand movements by someone trying to get my attention or something like that. Without being able to see that hand waving at me, I’m not “hearing” it. Does that make sense?

I also have more words to list that I mispronounce:

Decadent (I keep saying “de-CAY-dent” because I think of the word “decay” as in bad or bad for me-like a decadent cheesecake. It’s yummy, but bad for my waistline. LOL).

Chihuahua- “she-wah-wah”??

Sliver-somehow I end up saying “slither”. Ugh.

Years ago, I could not even pronounce the word “beat”. I kept saying “bth” as in, “I bth you.” I don’t know why. It’s how I picked it up.

Having two dogs in the house is a lot of work. Right now, Onyx is a shedding machine with the on-again-off again spring weather we are ‘enjoying” here. I’m sweeping the floors every other day and get a lot of black Onyx hair. And having Topaz (a.k.a. Dust Storm) tear through the house and make the dog hair/dust fly!! I admit I have “why do we have two dogs??” moments. We just got through a puppy stage with Onyx and now we have another puppy. It’s almost like having a toddler and baby in the house, only they are potty-trained. Am I crazy?? (Wait, don’t answer that.) But Hubby is happy to have his hunting dog (Topaz) and I cannot complain about something that’s important to him. I tell him why do we have dogs? Because they are entertaining (and, should I add, stress relievers who give unconditional love??)

I cannot believe it’s April already. We are moving into the year 2009 pretty quickly, aren’t we?? I was just telling the girls that in another two months, school’s out for the summer. (If I keep going at this rate, I’m going to be old….acck. LOL.) We had a few days of nice weather in the 60s followed by a drop to the 40s. Now there’s just snowed last week after a good warm spell and now we are back to comfortable temperatures again. Welcome to Wisconsin and its fickle, typical weather.

I am also participating in the first-ever Wisconsin VisionWalk in Milwaukee. How exciting to try to be a part of this fundraiser for Foundation Fighting Blindness!! We are so close to a breakthrough to finding a cure for degenerative diseases such as retinitis pigmentosa (RP), Usher Syndrome, and Macular Degeneration. I just have to believe that!! I’d be happy, too, if they-researchers, scientists, and doctors- could find something to just halt the progression of RP if they can’t reverse it.

If any of you want more information on that, please email me with the link to my email I have provided on the sidebar.

I know I am not blogging as regularly as I used to, but I’ll try to just post a line here and there.

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